For sometime now things have become very eventful. So last week on 20th we had our engagement (i just noted that i used the word ‘we’ instead of ‘I’) it has been just 6 days yet it feels like months. I have become extremely filmy over the days since this stuff began. Engagement was good, funnily there was no exchange of ring, they asked if that could be avoided, we said its ok. though i still dont know why would they say that. We were nervous since the previous day, but on the day of engagement i was fine. It was arranged at a hotel near to their place. We went there around 30 people, close relatives and my friends D, UNI, and M, since i was among friends i didnt feel weird, we were talking fun and uncontrollable laughter broke out while the function was going on, actually none of their family members except father and the girl have seen me in real before this, neither have i seen them so it was our first meeting. My mom gave her a bangle, and while she was returning she stumbled on the chairs, that was funny, she certainly was nervous. We posed for pictures together, while we were posing i told her i might have a vertigo out of fear will you catch me if i fall, she laughed. I was feeling very nervous during this time, had some chat with her brother.
Then the function was over, and everyone started eating, cousin’s wife made her sit beside me, table was big so they also joined also my mother and V’s wife. They made fun of me by saying why are you not talking to her, i replied how can i in front of you people. Still i talked with her, i asked where is her mobile, she said its with her brother, i said i have sent sexy messages to it, which i hadnt. While she was telling some story to V’s wife i touched her leg with my feet, she just got stuck in her story telling. she forgot everything that she was saying and couldnt say anything, i was looking at her reaction, she looked at me and started laughing. Then she hid her legs somewhere, i did some exercise to find her leg but failed. After food talked with her for a considerable time, also talked with other people. Now i was fine and feeling quiet confident. So the whole thing was good.
We still talk a lot, many hours in a day, also chat a lot. We also talk sex a lot, actually i was talking sex within 5 days that we began talking on phone, i can talk anything with her, we have become very close in a short duration, there is a huge amount of connection between us. I feel i wouldnt not become this close with any other girl in such a short time.
Cousin came from dufai sometime in the previous week or the week before that i dont remember i will have to refer to my tweets to know the date. I UNI and S went to receive him by taxi to kozikode, drank on the way. Reached there at 4 in the morning, and for the first time drank again so early in the morning in the parking lot of airport.
Had an accident two or three days back, i and cousin got hit by a tempo while we were on my bike. That guy also a distant relative took us to the hospital, there were no fractures, just some bruises and swelling, which is ok now.
On monday(she has off on mondays) went to see the girl, i was feeling shy while thinking of it, but it was all fine once we went. You see i dont have much experience of talking with girls, its like almost zero words, and i have been always nervous among them but with this girl i have been comparatively comfortable. we first had some ice cream, she had what she always had, i choose something randomly which i havent had, i hardly repeat the dishes at restaurants, i have always been curious to try new thing, life is too short for repetitions. We sat and talked as much as we could.
Then we strolled through the town, we were unsure how to spend time now, as its a small town and there are no options like parks or such. She suggested we go to railway station, which was actually very original idea, i dont know how could someone think of that, so we bought platform tickets and sat at one of the benches, platform was relatively empty being a small station. We talked, it was good, held her hand and all. it was good, then we ate lunch and i came back.
Then on christmas got caught by police while we were coming backing after buying liquor, as my bike has gujarat registration it often becomes a problem, also its in super khatara condition. They were to impound the bike but there were unsure if they could drive it back to the station so they took my licence instead, and asked to collect it from police station after coming with gaadi ka papers. So next day i and UNI went to get my licence back, there was so much waiting involved, if you go to court or police station a few times, which i have on many occasion, you would stop doing anything illegal, no they dont do anything bad with you, but the process involves so much waiting that it becomes unbearable. They charged 500rs for not having insurance. though they could have charged on many counts.
Day b4 yesterday went for fishing and caught 3 tortroises, they will be cooked today or tomorrow, yeh catching tortroises is illegal. I dont support it, but my supporting or unsupporting wouldnt stop people from catching it. So whatever.
Yesterday went to water park. I UNI, S and D. it was fun, but dropped my phone in water, i wanted to take a video while sliding through one of the rides, which was stupid and phone got wet and stopped working. Went by bus since we were to drink and didnt want to get caught again for drinking and driving. Drank brandy before begining the journey, then after reaching there i and UNI drank 2 literes toddy again because we were not feeling drunk enough. Overall it was good. Will try keeping the phone in sun today, i hope it will work, nokia phones generally work the next day after getting wet, not sure about samsung.
so thats pretty much the story till now, gareebi continues, no ameeri insight yet.
Its exactly like 20 days since the last post, though i wanted to write before i didnt get time, i was so fucking busy talking and chatting with her all the time. I didnt predict this, nobody did. I didnt knew we would get insanely attached to each other in such a short period. All the fucking phases of love have been experienced already. There is a huge chemical flux happening in my brain all the time, even now and when i write or think about her i feel it becoming much stronger.
This is a first time feeling for me and this has never happened before, this is serious shit. But its still not half as good as having opiods, opiods are much better, they release more endorphines i think. You cant really compare both of them, but still if i had to compare i would rate the latter as better.
Thou i intended take it to a higher degree of detail, i dont think it would be possible now. Things have moved so fast that i couldnt take note of all of it. So the goes like this.. So as i said before this girl doesnt have a phone. Soon after their people came here and said they are ready, i think the next day parents called them and she was talking to my mom, suddenly my mother gives the phone to me, so i m all shy and i talk to her, i do some small talk, like if she had tea, how was work, at what time she came and such and she asked similar questions, it lasted 2 or 3 minutes i think. The next day again V called and suddenly gave the phone to me, which was unexpect and so just said hi hello and eneded the call in less than 1 minute.
To be frank i dont remember anything after this, i had to see the last post to calculate how many days have passed. Right now i m regretting why i didnt take an effort to blog all these days, So i will just narrate on approximation. The next time i called i dont remember the call but in one of the call i asked her if i should give her a mobile since she doesnt have one and i have a spare one at home, she refused. I remember i was still very nervous talking to her and my voice was breaking when i was asking about the mobile thing. So i think the next few days i talked with her on their home phone. I started getting open bit by bit. I was still shy and nervous but i was enjoying talking with her. I would talk with her in the evening after she came from work, then i think she sent me the first message it said read ‘good morning’ a few messages were exchanged and she abrubly sent bye, i guessed she must have ran out of money. We have got a bit comfortable, so that evening i asked if she had ran out of balance in the morning and if i should recharge, she was hesitant but agreed. I refilled her phone and activated an sms pack in both of our phone. I knew text is better, our inhibitions reduce considerably while texting. So we start texting and all, also made calls once a day. Next my parents, my mama and cousin’s mother were supposed to visit them for final confirmation, she was worried about them visiting. So we talked about it and in the process got closer, we had reached a level of comfortableness now, became almost friends. Also i asked my mother to give a phone to her while they visited, she said she couldnt take the phone her mother would refuse, i insisted to take and when my mother gave she took. She was apparently using smart phone for the first time, i had installed whatsapp and activated a gprs plan so that it would be more comfortable. Initially she had problem, i made fun of her, but by evening she was typing faster than me and was sending pics. When parents came back they brought her pic, i found the photo which was taken in a studio to be utterly unaesthetic, i was like shocked was this the girl i saw and agreed to marry. I said to myself may be the picture is not proper because i didnt found her this unpleasing in reality. may be she was not photogenic i said to myself, then she sends a few other pics which was in her friends mobile taken on some ocassion in saree, this pic was more disappointing, i didnt find her attractive, but another pic was there was a good, very good actually in that traditional white mallu saree taken on onam or something she was bent sitting down arranging flowers for pookalm.
bloodythefuck i m tired typing. I said to myself i m no hero either, whatever it is its fine. So we continue talking, i started calling baby names, i will liking it and she was liking it. Still we werent talking a lot, the max a call would last was like 20 mins, and half the time we were searching for topics to talk, we wanted to talk but there wasnt anything to talk. We discussed and laughted talking about how other ‘lovers’ talked non stop and wondered what they talked about, it was first experience for both of us. Initially i was a bit apprehensive about her thinking methods. I made a reference about eating beef and she started doing sheee chuee chee, i thought she would be narrow minded. I made my point, she seemed to understand. But she became a bit silent. I changed the topic.
Much before i gave the phone that is like we had just begun to talk nervously and she asks me if i drank, i tried to avoid the question then i said yes, she asked if i smoke i said yes. Actually V had told them that i neither drink nor smoke, and we have been told very specifically about it. Everyone told me not to tell the truth, not untill marriage. Say you dont drink or smoke, after marriage wait for a week then start slowly one day, see her reaction the proceed. Girls are becoming more and more specific about not wanting a drinking man, as alcoholism is epidemic here. So i confess and i m extremely worried, my father aware of my habit of telling the truth had specifically warned against this.
So i tell the truth and wait for the reaction, this was early way too early just 2 days after i started talking with her, i was worried like hell, everyone would blame me for spoiling this. She said its ok, everyone drinks these days, as long as its occasional its fine. i tell her i m not regular and that i m occasional. She said she hates the smell of smoke and that i should stop it as its not good for health, i agreed and told her that i was already trying to quit smoking and i would do so soon. I was like almost pani pani after this, was sweating like hell after this ordeal was over i sighed. Later that evening i tried to message her and i dont get a reply, i try to call and it says switched off, i became worried, i thought she must have told her parents, and its all over. i come home and parents kept asking if i had told her that i drink, they warned me agaisnt doing so, if you have done that then forget this shaadi will happen, that day we had drinking plan and i was drinking while drinking i was fucking worried, i kept on trying but there was no response. It was my last peg and this tension was killing me, friends were talking fun things and i couldnt laugh. Just then i received a message saying that she was working, phone got switchedoff and she didnt notice. It was like a big fucking relief, drowned the last peg, ate food happily came home, texted her for sometime.
So all these days were talking for good amount of time, when we were not talking we were text, it was idhar udharki normal talks, we were becoming frank, then one day she sounded a bit off, i ask for the reason, she tried to avoid, i kept prodding then she tells, about their financial problem and what will people say if their parents were unable to give much jewelerry and stuff, normal tensions. I tell her it doesnt matter and nobody will say anything, and if she is really worried she can get some fake jewellery its not an issue and such.
I think sharing something that was serious took us to a new level, all this while we were on lighter topics, the kind of topics when you are in first phase and you keep laughing all the time you are on phone. After this the topics took a serious tone, it was more about worries and problems, soon the topics stabalised. That day we talked for 3 hours nonstop. It was like almost skipping a barrier, as if you have crossed a country and the whole feeling was different from what it felt all this while. we discussed about this feeling, and we both realized the shift which was just too apparent. I realized she has a scientific temparament just like me, we are doing a lot of observation about what exactly is happening, and how exactly are we feeling about the whole situation. we often wonder if this is love or more is yet to come. It was deeper now too deep. I tell her we might soon have a fight, because thats how it is, the next stage is fighting. And i dont have to tell you it did happen, the very next day.
So the next day we do a non stop 3 or 4 hour call, so our engagement date had got fixed for 20th dec, and we were talking about nervousness and shyness that we will feel, so it was a long talk. So towards the end i tell her that i was going to drink tonight. She fell silent for a while then she asked why and all, and i tell her since our date has been fixed thats y. She didnt sound disappointed or angry, we talked for a few minutes normally and thats it. Normally she would send a message when she reaches home, but that day she didnt i waited for a an hour then i messaged her, she replied. I asked her why she didnt reply and all, she said she was testing if i m sending her message or not, i was angry at her that she didnt do something that she was supposed to, i ask her if there is any problem she didnt said nothing, i was angry but i was not showing it, i didnt wanted it to spiral out of control. So next day again she didnt sent the customary gd morning message, i ignored and didnt send a message either. She would chat while travelling in bus, but that she didnt. I messaged and she said, she didnt get seat so she couldnt chat. I call her and she doesnt pickup the call, then later calls and says she was busy in work. Anger was building inside me, i knew this is the fight that happens between people in love, its that wala fight that i was talking about yesterday, i decided to solve it once and for all. She calls after some time, i actually didnt realize that the problem started when i said i would be drinking, i did drink before and i had told her, and had talked and chatted while drunk, she was fine with it. So naturally i wouldnt have thought that drinking was the root here, then there was nothing else to blame. So i asked her what happened. She avoided the question, after prodding she said she doesnt know why but she was feeling extremely angry at me, she just replied normally because she didnt wanted this thing to go out of control, she said she was so angry at me that she couldnt do anything, and she is still feeling the same way. I said the same thing that i was and am feeling angry at her. After saying this we went into our analytics mode, i told her just as i told you yesterday we will be fighting this is that thing. I told her we are fighting because its just what happens with everyone. I analyzed further and explained to her the start of this problem, i told her it began from the moment i told her about the drinking thing, and this had to do with being possesive, its just that she didnt wanted me to have fun with friends, that she wanted whole of me to herself and this is what the problem is, and i explained her my side of the anger and reason for it. She fell silent, she grasped and she understood.
I did drink the very next day, i told her i will be drinking, she said dont drink too much. i drank, then called her, chatted till late, she was happy, its like the whole fucking disease was solved. After that she never complained of drinking, she actually began to like when i drank, because i would become more romantic after that.
she tells me that she is ziddi, has got anger problems, has headache problems, she is selfish and she doesnt have a good impression of herself. Its fine i say, the things that matter to me is what she has, she has a scientific experimental temperament, she is very understand she actually understands what i m saying, most people dont fucking understand me, they think i m nuts or something. I threw a few theories of mine at her, and she was very receptive, she understood and liked the shit i was saying. we are not fighting anymore and i think we wont ever, i think i can make her understand anything. Feel like i m deeply in love and we are sharing that feeling, i m sharing my stories with her, i m sharing such shit that i even feel ashamed to write here in this blog, that should pretty much sum it up.
in one simple word, if she were a reader of this blog, she would have liked what i m writing.
Time for some sunday bakchodi, no matter what sunday is always special. As the the title suggests the whole ladki dekhing business seems to have come to an end finally, its almost pucca now, date for engagement and marriage are yet to be fixed, as i said its almost fixed and i dont say its really fixed, as there are some chances that things might not work out, but the chances for that are quiet slim. I wont have broken the news unless its really fixed, but then that would become selective blogging, and i dont want to withheld anything here, i would just say as it stands now, even if i make a paplu out of me i would have no regrets, this blog is an imprint of my life and it should remain that way.
So the story goes like this, we have this distant relative who is a neighbour and had recently came back from dufai, so he used to come to our home to talk, as most dubai returnees do on their leave as they dont have any work or ways to spend time, so they would just go to people’s house and talk. So he used to come and he became good company of my parents, and they would talk for hours, also he got acquainted with me, and we began to drink together, we drank the videshi whiskey that he bought, and since we both are atheist he developed an admiration of me, and towards the end of his leave, i.e. last week i think, he said he would find a girl for me, aware of the fact that i have been unable to find a girl for marriage since ever. So he and my father goes to see this girl who is an contact of the friend of his.
So they see the girl and they find the girl good, so the next day again us including me go to see the girl, ofcourse it was not a normal ladki dekhing, this was also weird but not as weird as some of my other adventures. We went to see at the hospital she was working at, she is a temporary physiotherapist at some sarkari hospital. After going through some typical comical conditions which have become a trademark in my case, i see the girl. The girl is ok, thou i m not sure again, a bit on the darker side but fairer than me, normal height, average looks, much more than average as per mallu standards, her looks are like very very desi i dont know how do i describe it but it just means she has insane amount of indianess in her looks and really long and thick hair the kind they show in parachute commercial. Thou i have no special liking towards long hair, as a matter of fact i like short hair, but still long hair is a sign of healthy genes. She is a real smooth talker, the kind of person who are very social, kind of people who know how to talk and are by default friendly with every one, quite opposite to the socially awkward me. So when we reached hospital we called her home to get her mobile number so that we can call her down, what the fuck do i her, she doesnt use a mobile phone, how more sexier does it get than this, someone who doesnt use a mobile is insanely sexy, i wished i could do that.
So we like the girl, not exactly like an instant like, actually we debated a few minutes to decide if the girl was good looking or not, nobody could really put a finger on it, and now i realized the brains of my parents have also got scrambled about beauty just like me owing to ladki dekhing on a long term basis, thankfully V (the dufai guy) was there to tell that the girl was actually good looking, after listening to that we also found the girl good looking. I say she is confusingly average.
so we call her parents tell that we like the girl and intend to take it forward, and we need her rashi details so that we can check with the astrologer, so the rashi detail which is call kurp which i think actually mean ‘a note’ literally needs to be exchanged they said her brother would come here and give that, also that way he can see the house and all, but the next day they dont come, we think they are not interested thats y they are making bahanas. They say they couldnt come due to some reason so asked us to collect that from the girl at the hospital, so again i and V go there and xchange the kurps, again i see the girl, again i m indecisive if i like her or not but mostly i m on the positive.
So we see the rashi and tell them the match is ok, its like 6 and a half match out of 10, not great but workable. They seemed serious about astrology and stuff from their earlier talks, so they said they would also want it to be check at their end. 2 days go in that they said they didnt get time, we all the time felt they are not interested. They never called us, they only told the stories when we called them. Finally they said they checked the rashis and next day they will come to visit us to talk further. Ofcourse they would have showed my rashi and astrologer would have said that i m going to be super rich or something, its pretty standard, most astrologers tell that thing, they seemed to have got all of a sudden very interested after the rashi checking thing.
Still my job thing was not clear, it was just told that i m a web designer, ofcourse it was not told that i was doing it from home which is a huge huge negative, its like super negative, its better to be a lottery ticket seller than to be told that you are working from home, these villagers dont understand this shit, and they cant be made to understand. So they come, V’s friend who showed the girl to us, her mama and her father. You wont believe what her father’s name is, its MAYA its the most unusual coincidence, how the fuck does a male have a name maya, and he hardly talks, he talks much less than me. All the phone talking happened with her mother, her father never came on phone, extreme introvert i say. After hearing her father’s name i knew this would work, this is a weird sign thing that happens with me, there is always a sign and when it comes to me, these signs are often weird.
So we discuss about things, we hinted that we need to make it asap, obviously because we want the jafa to get over soon, we need something to be fixed. But they didnt give a date, they say they will tell later, also their house is half completed, they havent done house warming yet, engagement can be done only after that. Also they didn’t seemed financially ready for it as of yet, may b thats y they were dillydallying.
Parents do call them sometimes, and yeh i did talk with her on phone, nice voice and tone, which most social people have. Also her brother did an inquiry sort of thing, asking what exactly i do, and why i never took a proper job, i told what i had to, dont know if he liked what i said, ofcourse they would have to answer questions of their relatives, they would also ask what i do, and it would certainly be weird to say he works from home. Still things are positive if i may say so, and this is probably and hopefully the end of the ladki dekhing shit, because yours truly is tried of it.
The experiments moving forward would be of different kind, the originality of observations will b taken to the level of v s naipaul, i have never read anyone more talented than naipaul when it comes to observation. And ofcourse going forward we will have the very detailed and most awkward of a suhaagraat post, which i know is going to take originality to a new level. Also they had inquired specifically if i drink or smoke, and V had told them no, and they seemed damn serious about it, it would also b interesting to see what happens when i drink for the first time, it will be a major thing i say.
So this would mark the end of phase 1, next phase would b from date of engagement to the first 10 days after marriage, a very fucking detailed analysis will be done on the arranged marriage experience, and i hope its funny, embarassing and awkward till the end. Yeh and that dufai guy he is going back today, that tattoo i got done from pune recently, we went there at sister’s place for durga puja, it was good.
this could be the longest poster ever on this blog.
over and out.
Since its diwali and since it hardly matters in kerala will do a post on festivals, most mallus wont b aware of today being diwali unless they put on tv or read newspaper, anyway thats the beauty of hinduism and i would be much happy as long as their is no uniformity in festivals throughout india, indian local festivals are like regional dishes their is uniqueness in them, nobody would like to see chicken masala in every part of the country, which ofcourse is a sad fact that we have to live with. In earlier times when you did a train jouney from kanyakumari to kashmir the food items that you got from every station was unique and different but the sad fact of today is that its pretty much the same everywhere, and i find it saddening. the cultural unification of india is a huge price to pay.
Anyway coming to the topic, everyone likes the festive feeling, and its pretty sad thing to be alone during festive times, though i have never been alone during festivals but somehow i can assume how exactly does it feel, because living alone is one of the things i hate the most and wouldnt do anything that would lead to it, because happiness is possible only when shared and sharing is not possible when you are alone.
As someone who because an atheist at a very young age unlike the new age atheist who become atheist due to exposure of content on internet, during my time there was no internet, and i didnt even know there were people in world who didnt belive in gods, i used to think i was the only person who didnt believe in god. Its different when you are a self thought atheist without any assistance of an outside content or thought. I became atheist when i was in 5th or 6th standard, the first thing i had begun hate was festivals due to their obvious religious background. While people were in a jovial mood i resigned from them, i stayed indifferent and slowly developed a hatred towards it, ofcourse i didnt enjoy holy and uttrayan but festivals like diwali were a total no. Its only when i grew older and matured in my thoughts that i realized how important its to have and celebrate festivals, it has nothing to do with the reasons behind it, ram cam back from vanvas or not should not be our business, the point is to celebrate irrespective of the reason behind it. To get together have good food, talk and like that, there is irreplicable feeling to it.
And there are some new age psedo environmentalist who say shit like dont burst crackers and do noise pollution and air pollution, let me tell you its all bullshit. As someone who is of hedonist mindset i would say fuck environment. Its for a single day for goodness sake. The same people who talk about noise and air pollution they dont mind doing air travel, or buy gadgets one after another the carbon footprint of which is far higher than bursting a few cracker on diwali, and the most important thing is that people and children who are gareeb they cant afford branded clothes and diamonds that you spend money on. Fucking elitist people dont understand the reflection of crackers in the eyes of a gareeb child. My own bachpana was spent in somewhat gareebi, crackers were like the biggest thing we kids desired for, i understand this shit and when some bhenchod ameers who sit the whole fucking day in AC, bakchoding on twitter and fb about saving the environment and shit while at the same time they are burning precious resources to have a comfortable life, bloody bhenchods if you really care about environmental get out of that ac, that car, stop air travel take a train, but no, we cant do that, but we are always ready to give a few lectures about pollution and shit, bloody elitist gareebs.
I dont know the source of this anger within me, when i write i automatically become angry.
The thing about ladki dekhing is that most of our idea comes from movies, because most of us dont really come across any real ladki dekhing thing untill we are going for ladki dekhing ourselves, i would have known if my there was a ladki dekhing for my sister but since there was none i would not know, so all my outlook of the ladki dekhing system was from the movies. And it doesnt really matter what language movie you are watching, if there is a ladki dekhing scene its pretty much the same throughout India. And from what i have seen in movies it seemed logical, but they normally show the girl in movie being disinterested in being paraded in front of others, may b there is a point but its not too good either for guys, its actually more annoying for the guys. I think i have already talked about this so i will cut short here.
So there are some weird ladki dekhing things that happened with me, like the one i mentioned here http://adayinthelifeofindia.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/weird-ladki-dekhing-scenario/ it has mostly to do with the situation, i mean the situation is totally different from what we would generally expect from a ladki dekhing ceremony or event or whatever you may like to call it. So there have been events that crushes the notion of ladki dekhing that one might have in mind, i will tell you 2 such events which i found very chutiya type and its something which i doubt to be a normal thing around here, but it could be i dont know.
So this happened a few months back, i, my father and my mama who also is a shaadi ka agent takes us to a few girls, as in 4 or 5. It was mostly normal ladki dekhing but the last one was funny, so we were supposed to see the girl, so we reach her home and find out she is not there and that she has gone to work, she is a nurse, the ones that work in operation theatre. So my mama cum agent says lets go and see her in hospital. I was already like WTF ladki dekhing in hospital its fucking weird, but that was hardly weird compared to what was coming. So we reach the reception of the hospital and they ask for the girl, so now i expect that they will call the girl down and there will be some brief ladki dekhing, though i was still shocked at the weirdness as this was the first time it was happening to me. So mama tells she is up, lets go there. so we go up and my mama bloody knocks the door of operation theatre, i move back and hide, i was sure he will be getting a scolding from someone, but that doesnt happen, the door open and this girl comes out. And she is in all that surgeon type green dress with that topi on head and that mask. She has worn that surgical gloves and there is blood on it, it all felt like a dream. Then mama calls me, and says this is the girl. After seeing the girl in all the gloves and stuff with blood on it, the only words that came out of my mouth was “how is the patient”. Just joking, i asked my standard questions.
If you have noticed i mentioned about the last marathon ladki dekhing that happened recently in last post, so this funny incident happen in the last ladki, so we did some 4 ladki dekhing all day and i was bored as nothing funny happened, i was about to call the day a failure with no comedy situations or interesting incidents. So this agent ( another agent) tells that there is one more girl, but she might be at work, but we can go and see her there, she works in some medical shop. Hearing this i already had a smile on my face, i knew this is going to be funny, but the fact is that for a few moments of funnyness there are uncomfortable embarassing moments to be suffered. But as you know me, there is not really a price that i wouldnt pay for some good comic experience. So this agent says we will first go to his father, so that girls father is a chai wala, yeh he has a tea shop, the gareeb type tea shop, where old jobless old men sit and talk, a place with walls darkened from smoke, no fan or shit and just a dim light bulb in a dark room. I tell you it was a weird place. I was already liking the weirdness, so we meet the girl’s father, he seemed like a good guy, we all sat and drank tea. Then the girl’s father says if you want i can call the girl here, so they said ok so they call the girl. after sometimes the girl comes. The setting and all was very dreamy and arty especially the humidity and that light bulb and those old men sitting around was giving a good flow. It was all and out uncomfortble. With all the people looking at us, like some 10 people, old men and other labourers, apparently its not a place where young people especially a girl and a boy could be sighted, so they were all staring at us, and i was asking the standard shaadi type questions, all those oldies had one helluva time seeing a ladki dekhing program, man where else will you get to see this other than movies.
There is also another incident i wont go in details i m writing it for myself, as a note so i dont forget this in future, so we went day before yesterday to some far away place, and we did a ladki dekhing in temple, yeh thats a bit weird too and also has some subtle humor in it, but i m already tired writing the two incidents, so lets forget about it. i wrote it just to make a record.
Also day before yesterday had gd time drinking after just bought half liter and 3 people drank, UNI me and M, it was not enuf for us, so we went hunting for daru, couldnt find and eventually went for food, when we were eating and talking about the inability to find daru, some other guys who were eating they tell us that they can arrange for it. So we eat half the food, and remaining we get it parceled. We go to their place, some far village. There we all drink sitting on the road. Nice people they were, fun people. Drank there and reached home after 2, parents scolded the shit out of me for being so late, they are too annoying, they still treat me as a kid, never mind though. Thats it, already done too much of writing. so over and out.
Today i finally typed my first self help query into google, i m one of those people who hate advice, wether written or oral, i have never read any self help bullshit, neither have i listened to anyone. But things are getting so serious now, and my problem is my laziness, i should be smart enough to think a way around it, but i m unable to do it, even my work is not very boring, its sort of ok, not something to be bored about, anyway the most boring part of my work i have already outsourced and i get it done from freelancers.
Even the supposedly interesting part of my work i m unable to do, and i m totally unable to find a solution to this, the major problem i think is because of the uncertain result, my work invovles things that may or may not give results, also there is no specific time when i could expect result, i m just supposed to put effort and just wait like some gamble, i like gamble but gambling results are instant, its not like you have to wait for an uncertain amount of time. I think this is whats causing the problem, the brain is not getting any fucking incentive to work, the normal people they do boring work at office but they get salary in time, so that acts as a motivation. I have to work, and i dont fucking no if i will get a result or not.
The recent google update that affected exact match domains fucked me over, so its pretty much zero now, but its good for a change, so i can close some of these resource hungry shit and move to something else, but closing something that you have built by investing your time and money is hard, especially for me who values hard work just because i m very lazy and i know the effort required to actually build something from scratch. I think it has been one of my major problems, inability to hiveoff loss making units.
Now some comedy, day before yesterday did a marathon ladki dekhing. 5 girls it was totally bheekarisome, it doesnt get any more pathetic than this, i do it for experience, for posterity. I need a record of this patheticness also it has its funny moments the hunger for which never dies, i seem to have an affinity to get myself into embarrassing situations. Ok it will be better if i do a separate post for it.
over and out
Sometimes i really wonder if i really am an introvert. I do call myself an introvert but sometimes i doubt if i really am one. I dont have problem with people, i actually like people, its just that i only like particular kind of people.. and there are people in front of whom i feel extremely nervous or uncomfortable, so much so that i would hide or run to avoid them.
I have never been able to understand the difference between the people i like and people i dont like, they are same kind of people, there is hardly any difference. No matter how i try to deduce their character i m unable to understand the reason for my uncomfortableness among some people. The world seems to be clearly divided, and its not that i need time to hate these people, i hate people mostly in first look, even if they have never talked to me.
Yesterday was fun, drank with 5 people one among them was communist bechare ki maa chud gayi, made a lot of fun about communists, when you drink in kerala you invariably end up talking politics at the end, it mainly happens with mainstreamers, not when a bunch of losers like us are drinking. Its then that i thought i dont really corroborate to the standard definition of an introvert, i actually like people, the more of them the better. Even people i meet on internet, i simply like them or i hate them, even thou i have never met them or know them.