A day in the life of India

My experiments with Life

Confessions of an Atheist

with 3 comments

I was very religious as a boy, i remember i cried for a big poster of lord shiva as a child. He was my favourite, still if i had to choose a god he would be my fav. All changed in the 5th standard when i first learned about darwin and his evolution theory. I remember it as an enlightening moment, my mind just said there just cant be any god. It didnt make any sense, if atall god had to create everything he could have just created directly and wouldnt have taken this many billion logical years, GODS ARE NOT LOGICAL, but evolution is.

After that atheist phase i became quiet introvert. I remember before 5th if i didnt do homework i used to pray in mind god plz help me out of this, and sometimes it did work. But after that i didnt had anyone to callout i would just sit with blank face like a cow on a road. Becoming a non-believer at young age is actually quiet depressing, you know that there isnt someone who rewards the good and punishes the bad. But later in life i realised somehow there is this cosmic law that takes care of paap and puniya(karma)  thing with believable accuracy.
As time passed my atheist views grew stronger, i rejected festivals to some extent. i wouldnt enter a temple. I started thinking how foolish the world is and started seeing belivers as some primitive- unevolved- mindless people. The kind of people who just took it as a fact what was told to them by their parents, by their society never questioning the rationale behind it. 
I always say an Atheist always knows much more about religions and gods than a believer. Out of natural curiosity and to fortify my atheist views i started reading about religions, islam, christianity, hinduism, buddhism, jainism, judaism, greek mythology and pagan religions. I liked jainism a lot since jainism was kind of upgrade to hinduism i though atleast i had born into a fairly good religion. I think christianity is the stupidest religion. Islam does makes some sense. And earlier form of hinduism the vedas and gita are fucking high quality philosophical shit. I just kept wondering 3000 years ago those people were asking such philosophical questions, that was really some though provoking shit. Shankaracharya was way too cool, his explanation of maya is just awesome.
Hindusim was never a religion, it was just a way of life of people living in India. Ancient hinduism also accepted atheism and materialism. I earlier used to say i m an atheist i now say i am a hindu-atheist. In hinduism you can create your own god and market him, you can give him a character, make a story around him. Its just fucking flexible. 
Currently i accept religion but i reject god, religion is good it has influenced art, culture and some of the marvelous work of art, culture and architecture were a gift of religion. I do visit temples , churches and mosques not to pray but just to see the architecture, the ritual, i would say its beautiful. I believe god doent exist but the religion has become a god like creature with power to change the society in a good or bad way. RELIGON HAS BECOME THE GOD. 

Written by maya

May 31, 2009 at 10:06 am

3 Responses

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  1. Earlier I wanted to say that why stopped visiting the temples/mosques/church?? But then I finished it and changed my mind :)Its impressive that 5th class was the turning point, for me it was 8th.Pefectly true that hindu religion is motherfucking flexible :)Sudhanshu, Baapu Asa Raam, Ramdev, and what not:)With 3 months beard on my face, I also look like "chota~mota" GOD 😀

    Tarun Goel

    June 6, 2009 at 5:03 pm

  2. i too had a similar kind of experience but it's much later than urs….it happened to me in college….but i still can't say i am a total atheist as still thre are doubts in my mind which i have to find out……quite interesting post yaar and do write some more on religion


    June 7, 2009 at 3:54 am

  3. At the very outset, I like your posts..good reads for a bored mind. Not this one though. You're come as a confused chit! I wonder what you read, but so far as your contempt for "philosophical questions" go, most of the Western world was doing just that till the 18th century (try "natural laws" Google). Not that I care two bits for Vedas or natural law or the crap that we discovered zero (duh!).As for Darwin..well he's the coolest one and makes lots of sense (btw do they teach Darwin in 5th standard?). But considering the pace of evolution (and other things…Google), there has to be something somewhere. Call it cosmic law or God or luck or, for that matter The Matrix. Creating and following a God just gives people an anchor.


    November 14, 2009 at 12:16 am

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