A day in the life of India

My experiments with Life

The case of missing bladder

with 11 comments

Day before yesterday we were sitting at sanu ka ground having our drink as always, it was a lucky month for R1 he made 2 new girl friends this month.. so he was talking about it.. as always i was the avid listener, the only reason i drink is because i like the crap they talk while drinking..
A few days back i asked R2 as to why he drinks, it was just a normal question i was just wondering what all reasons different people would give, he said if he doesn’t drink he is unable to sleep and sees ghosts. I laughed at the idea, that a grownup man is afraid of ghosts. I asked what kind of ghosts. He continued.. they are all in white clothes, when i close my eyes trying to sleep i feel someone is sitting around me and when i open my eyes i see them.. I said its all veham, he replied saying k he knows its a veham but still he sees them and he is damn afraid of it.. he doesnt sleep whole night and is thankful whenever it dawns. Actually he had stopped drinking on thursdays, he took fast on that day, but he cant do without liquor because of the bhoot thing.
As we were drinking and i was bored with R1’s talk about his new gfs i interrupted and told him to ask R2 as to why does he drink.. R1 asked and R2 gave the same answers regarding the ghost and we both laughed and inquired more..
R2 has this problem of shitting, he feels like shitting all the time. he has to shit 5 to 6 times a day and is always worried about when shit will strike.. It has been always his problem and he takes daily medication to control that but still its not of much help..
Suddenly he starts speaking again about his shit problem, he says i m jealous of seeing people drinking a lot and the next day they dont have any problem, but when i drink more i feel like shitting the whole day, i feel like every thing from my body is gonna come out of my ass hole.. IT’S BECAUSE I PULLED OUT MY BLADDER WHEN I WAS YOUNG. Me and R1 with our eyes wide and mouth open looking at him, not sure on what he just said, we were still for a moment digesting the unexpected words that he just told.. we looked at each other and burst out laughing..
We laughed for a good minute and eager to know more, we already knew its going to be fun to hear.. we asked YOU PULLED OUT YOUR BLADDER? HOW? WHY? WHEN?. R2 continued ” i was young then and i was having too much khujli in my ass, and it was not stopping so when i was shitting i put a finger in my ass and i felt something and i pulled it out, and it was my bladder”.
We again burst into laughter, and just the thought about what stupid thing he is saying and imaging the scene in our mind we couldnt stop laughing. R2 got angry its so easy for you people to laugh, you people dont have any idea how much i have to suffer because of my missing bladder. We burst into another stream of laughter, R1 asked so what did that bladder look like. R2 said it looked a baloon with little water in it, it was of white and pink colour like a meat. We tried to explain him there is no such kind of bladder that can be pulled out of anyone’s ass. Even if we believe its a bladder how did it come out, hasn’t it to be attached to some other part. He angrily said i dont know all that thing, but i know one thing that it was my bladder that came out that day, and because i dont have a bladder i have to shit all the time.. He said ok then we can go to the doctor, at least you will believe him..
Now we got a bit serious, i and r1 exchanged looks and the thing on our mind was IS HE BECOMING MAD? He continued we will go to doctor on sunday and i will ask him to check if my bladder is missing. I was just taking a sip then i burst into laughter the liquor splashing out of my mouth, and i and R1 heartily laughing as to what would be expression on doctor’s face when he would ask the doctor to check if his bladder is missing. It certainly is going to be the most funniest moment in this year. we completed our drinks and went home.
yesterday i was whole day laughing in my mind about yesterday’s incident, then R1 came to my home and we discussed about yesterday’s weird incident.
R1’s interpretation : He might have swallowed something as a child and it might have come out from his ass. Supportive argument: he had a dog which once swallowed baloon and when it came out of his ass, it looked something as described by R1 except for the color. R2 might have swallowed a baloon
My interpretation: He might have seen a dream which he started to believe as truth. As mentioned earlier he was already having sleeping problems and he saw ghosts.. so its quiet possible that he must have been hallucinating and some how this bladder thing went into his mind.
R2: you bhenchods i said I PULLED OUT THE BLADDER FROM MY ASS
p.S. We have already broadcasted to everyone about R2’s missing bladder. Next time he is going to meet anyone they would be asking the same question. where did ur bladder go?
we might also go to the doctors this sunday if he hasnt changed his mind,, and i m sure it wud be damn funny..
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Written by maya

August 1, 2009 at 11:03 am

11 Responses

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  1. What a shittyy post :PBladder Lost, dude this is some serious problem, make sure R2 is alive till next Sunday.Missing Bladder, such a fuckin loser :)lolzzzzzzzzzzz

    Tarun Goel

    August 1, 2009 at 12:45 pm

  2. HAHAHHAHHAHAHAH… Rolling on the floor laughing my bladder ooopppssss my *** off 😀

    Chhaya

    August 1, 2009 at 5:21 pm

  3. Is there a possibility that someone fucked your friend in the ass and left the condom inside. It got tangled and filled with water.Possible no?

    Nothingman

    August 1, 2009 at 5:24 pm

  4. omg …hahahahah aaa… that was a great one ..broke all the previous records of ur weird posts …

    vicious

    August 1, 2009 at 11:24 pm

  5. May be Not is correct, moreover he sees a lot of ghosts who could be his rapists 🙂

    Tarun Goel

    August 2, 2009 at 3:37 pm

  6. Seems this is a curious case of lost bladder … just ask him what he did with that 'balloon' thing from his hole. And in case he kept it some place, one could just find and plague it right in place. And then give him a mighty kick on his butt! A saner solution will be to give him less drink, so that he gets some time to see men (and women) too! … tell him seeing ghosts make men lose bladders!!!

    IdleMind

    August 2, 2009 at 8:44 pm

  7. The thing is bladder stores urine not shit. So, even if he has pulled out his bladder that shouldn't explain his shitting all day.Having said that your friend is really fucked up.

    abhishek

    August 3, 2009 at 12:25 am

  8. @ nothing, tarunyes nothing has a valid point, tht cud be a condom@ idle we asked abt tht right then, he said he threw it away.@ abhishek.. there are many kinds of bladder in a human body,, the large and small intestine could be counted as a bladder..@ chhaya, vicious… thanks for liking the post..this shortage of liquor here after the ahmedabad incident is making these people mad, another of my friend K he is roaming around asking people to payback the money which he thinks he had lent them, but actually he hasnt..also there was a time when i went mad, wud write abt it some time later

    Uncommon Sense

    August 3, 2009 at 10:07 am

  9. So, R1 = Ramlu! Hehehe…If this post is not a total work of fiction, your friend needs professional psychiatric help.

    Ketan

    August 4, 2009 at 3:54 am

  10. man u gave me shock of my life,, how do u know who R1 is?only after reading ur profile kuch jaan me jaan aayi k i dont know u.. its not atall fiction, its very real, every word as always

    Uncommon Sense

    August 4, 2009 at 9:29 am

  11. Hello friend excellent and very interesting blog about The case of missing bladder I also have problems in my bladder My doctor said me that I suffer of bladder stones thanks for sharing this blogs

    Renee

    March 30, 2010 at 9:49 pm


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