Are you afraid of dying? i m sure most of us will be other than people with suicidal tendencies. Death is secondary to my fear the primary fear of my is being old. Being old is kind of a curse. I m not talking about those pathetic women who are afraid of looking old. I m talking about being actually old, when you are bed ridden, you shit, puke and piss in the same stinking bed.. it must be quiet embarrassing.. No matter how brave have you been in your youth, endless war you might have fought, you might have made large quantity of wealth for your self and for people around you, no matter what number of people you have killed, or what number of people you have saved, no matter what number of people consider you their god , what good or bad you have done, nothing matters, all that you owned, all that you loved, all those memories of happy moments and the sad one.. nothing matters on one’s death bed. They say kutte ki maut marega,, i say insaan ki maut is more torturous..
Adding to the problem is the fucking medical science and the society.. The medical science makes people suffer for a longer time extending their oldness. Science cant extend your youth fullness but it certainly can extend your troubled days.. It gives more time,, more time for suffering, more time to live in embarrassment. The fucking people who talk about being independent doesn’t realise until they are old what fucking independence means.. There is no creature in the universe more interdependent, more freedom less than humans. We are slaves of our own doings, if not slaves of others, we are slaves of our self, slaves of the society, the society of which we are part of.
There used to be a joke about smokers not becoming old because they die before they become old,, that is exactly what i want. In japan people go to this special temple to pray that they should die before they become old what a fucking irony japan has the highest life expectancy..
If i see my parents suffer through old age,, i would have wanted them to die the same moment rather than suffering. Whats the point in extending their suffering taking them to hospital so that they live another month of suffering, or another year of suffering. But i m going to do exactly that because i m a fucking slave of this society, Oh! your parents are suffering take them to hospital.. why the fuck should i,, i fucking say make mercy killing legal and make a standard suffering benchmark. And let the doctors or whoever it is decide when a person had enuf of this shit and he has to die now. Why add on to the medical expenditure(oh you are not supposed to talk about expenses in comparision to human life – Gand mara!!), when the person is on his death bed and is about to die.. What good is it going to do rather than sucking on some more oxygen.. Society will say you didnt care for your parents, you wanted your parents to die, you killed your parents.. What the fuck i just didnt want them to live thru the hopelessness, the agony and waiting second by second fearing that “i m dying, i m dying” i m sure a person who is about to die realises he is about to die and he keeps on thinking of that and he is waiting for it like a bomb set on fire slowly reaching the point of explosion, and the person making himself ready for it,, but we extend the timing of the bomb and the more it takes time the more fear creeps in.. Why dont we understand the person is going to die anyway,, what fucking are you gonna do about it, just take it as it is.. But we are not going to do that, aint it? because we are fucking humans, the virus of this planet..
i had more things to say,, but will keep it short. My Grand mother is about to die and seems like she is too afraid to die, may be she will die within a week or may be she wont for an year. The thing is that,, old age is far too complex and it is something that the society hasn’t made arrangement for, there is no system, and nobody wants to talk and find a working solution to it. Generally old age is considered in different sense i think of it as a taboo and Of all the taboo for me old age is the biggest and the inevitable one..
P.S. by the way the SRK issue at the newark airport, about the religious profiling issue i think all this is publicity stunt gone too far.. considering that his movie “my name is khan” is about to be released.. They think the people are stupid and they are right..