A day in the life of India

My experiments with Life

Death Wish

with 33 comments

Are you afraid of dying? i m sure most of us will be other than people with suicidal tendencies. Death is secondary to my fear the primary fear of my is being old. Being old is kind of a curse. I m not talking about those pathetic women who are afraid of looking old. I m talking about being actually old, when you are bed ridden, you shit, puke and piss in the same stinking bed.. it must be quiet embarrassing.. No matter how brave have you been in your youth, endless war you might have fought, you might have made large quantity of wealth for your self and for people around you, no matter what number of people you have killed, or what number of people you have saved, no matter what number of people consider you their god , what good or bad you have done, nothing matters, all that you owned, all that you loved, all those memories of happy moments and the sad one.. nothing matters on one’s death bed. They say kutte ki maut marega,, i say insaan ki maut is more torturous..
Adding to the problem is the fucking medical science and the society.. The medical science makes people suffer for a longer time extending their oldness. Science cant extend your youth fullness but it certainly can extend your troubled days.. It gives more time,, more time for suffering, more time to live in embarrassment. The fucking people who talk about being independent doesn’t realise until they are old what fucking independence means.. There is no creature in the universe more interdependent, more freedom less than humans. We are slaves of our own doings, if not slaves of others, we are slaves of our self, slaves of the society, the society of which we are part of.
There used to be a joke about smokers not becoming old because they die before they become old,, that is exactly what i want. In japan people go to this special temple to pray that they should die before they become old what a fucking irony japan has the highest life expectancy..
If i see my parents suffer through old age,, i would have wanted them to die the same moment rather than suffering. Whats the point in extending their suffering taking them to hospital so that they live another month of suffering, or another year of suffering. But i m going to do exactly that because i m a fucking slave of this society, Oh! your parents are suffering take them to hospital.. why the fuck should i,, i fucking say make mercy killing legal and make a standard suffering benchmark. And let the doctors or whoever it is decide when a person had enuf of this shit and he has to die now. Why add on to the medical expenditure(oh you are not supposed to talk about expenses in comparision to human life – Gand mara!!), when the person is on his death bed and is about to die.. What good is it going to do rather than sucking on some more oxygen.. Society will say you didnt care for your parents, you wanted your parents to die, you killed your parents.. What the fuck i just didnt want them to live thru the hopelessness, the agony and waiting second by second fearing that “i m dying, i m dying” i m sure a person who is about to die realises he is about to die and he keeps on thinking of that and he is waiting for it like a bomb set on fire slowly reaching the point of explosion, and the person making himself ready for it,, but we extend the timing of the bomb and the more it takes time the more fear creeps in.. Why dont we understand the person is going to die anyway,, what fucking are you gonna do about it, just take it as it is.. But we are not going to do that, aint it? because we are fucking humans, the virus of this planet..
i had more things to say,, but will keep it short. My Grand mother is about to die and seems like she is too afraid to die, may be she will die within a week or may be she wont for an year. The thing is that,, old age is far too complex and it is something that the society hasn’t made arrangement for, there is no system, and nobody wants to talk and find a working solution to it. Generally old age is considered in different sense i think of it as a taboo and Of all the taboo for me old age is the biggest and the inevitable one..
P.S. by the way the SRK issue at the newark airport, about the religious profiling issue i think all this is publicity stunt gone too far.. considering that his movie “my name is khan” is about to be released.. They think the people are stupid and they are right..
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Written by maya

August 18, 2009 at 11:22 am

Posted in my views, uncommon

33 Responses

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  1. There was a time when I was in full support of mercy killing. And then I grew up. There were moments in my life when I thought life was simply not worth living. I wont go in details of that but all I can say, once you trivialize death, life loses its beauty. Dying is always such an easy and tempting escape route. Just imagine, falling asleep and then never having to wake up to face the let-downs in life. There are some extreme cases when – if the person in question really desperately wants out – there should be a provision to pull the plug (I am using it as a metaphor. It not just for those on life support) but no one else should be allowed to make this decision for them.Anyone who has this intense fear of becoming a vegetable or getting riddled with bed-sores should make a legal document that they don’t want to be kept on life-support (its legally binding and allowed) in case they ever find themselves in that situation.the bottom line – there is always a tomorrow.. and for those who have lost all the interest in it, they shuld make that decision themselves. Just like your granny who wants to live.. we are no one to declare her life as unliveable.

    Chhaya

    August 18, 2009 at 1:49 pm

  2. About the SRK issue.. i am sure it was all a publicity stunt for "My name is khan".. Its a procedure they have to follow. Even the Kennedy clan is not spared that… PS: Will the delhi airport security officer recognize Sean Connery? utter bullshit.

    Chhaya

    August 18, 2009 at 1:52 pm

  3. Read your write up again… one more thing that I want to say (while fully understanding your feelings on this issue)…we would pull the plug on our parents if they are in chronic pain bcz _we_ can’t watch them suffer. Its more about our comfort level… more about the guilt we have bcz we cant share their pain. I can keep writing on this topic cz it hits home with me.. but now I would love you see ur and others’ responses

    Chhaya

    August 18, 2009 at 1:56 pm

  4. as far as i m concerned i dont have the guts to fall asleep for ever.. i wont dare to take that decision unless i m old enuf..Ther is a prob in the bottom line you said and it doesnt apply to a person who is on his death bed.. "there might always be a tomorrow, bt it will be worse than today" and this is obvious with old age.. lying on the bed and waiting is not "living".

    Uncommon Sense

    August 18, 2009 at 1:58 pm

  5. i agree with you that old age is more terrifying than death and i strongly bliv that mercy killing shud be made legal .but then his/her loved ones will still feel like seeing him on bed another day than not see that person at all !!the person the death bed , i feel only waits for death and not for another ailing day !one of my cousins grandfather lay in bed for more than a month without any senses just his heart was beating . finally he died a few days back .after seeing him i thot i wud write a post abt the above but great u did it and did it in a great manner . in earlier days , my mother told me , a puja used to be organised and after that in 24 hrs either the person died or returned to good health . this was done with her(my mother's ) grandfather who was in bed for months and had all these bed sore n stuff . i guess this is also a kind of mercy killing . her gf died withinn 2 days of that puja . some things are beyond explanation i guess!!!about srk . i too think the same !!!

    vicious

    August 18, 2009 at 2:03 pm

  6. @US – All i am trying to say is, we dont have the right to make that decision for someone else. And the person who has not been close to being dead.. and a person who has not _seen_ the death of a very very loved one, wont easily understand when i say that.i have been through both.. and it changed my whole mindset about death. you may change ur mind when u are old.. but right now, you have full freedome to think this way 🙂 …

    Chhaya

    August 18, 2009 at 2:14 pm

  7. hoho, i dont c ny need of living when u r no more useless for ur selfread here my old philosophical writings :Phttp://myboardmyblog.blogspot.com/2008/08/is-reality-pessimism.html

    Tarun Goel

    August 18, 2009 at 2:20 pm

  8. anyone who compares Dylan baba (thats how i refer to him) to SRk – phe.saar.ke needs to be skinned alive, dragged on the nail-bed and then hung with a bungee chord!!!:D

    Chhaya

    August 18, 2009 at 2:22 pm

  9. hahahahagreat chhaya, you also rock but sometimes only, ulike me, I always do 🙂

    Tarun Goel

    August 18, 2009 at 2:25 pm

  10. vici is getting it right, "the person the death bed , i feel only waits for death and not for another ailing day !"@ vici i think the pooja thing does have an effect, it makes the person on death bed realise its time to go.. i do believe our ancient systems had perfect arrangemnet for these thing,, the problem is today's society.. they are holding on to people who have to go..

    Uncommon Sense

    August 18, 2009 at 2:33 pm

  11. @ tarun people who are lying on bed cant really stand up, take a pistol and pull the trigger,, they have to fucking wait to die.. and that is something that a person would not like to wait for.. and its not a good thing that u inject this person with chemicals to keep him alive..@ chhaya, tarun.. I like srk, not as an actor, but as a person.. i used to hate him but one day i saw a documentary on him in natgeo.. i realised he is a very intelligent person and he does talk some really philosophical shit..and u both rock like a baby in a cradle lol

    Uncommon Sense

    August 18, 2009 at 2:42 pm

  12. well if tht is the concern, seriously I can't do nything about that :PYeah my friend wantd to kill his grand father because o his bone/blood cancer but the old fellow died bfore my friend could release him 😀

    Tarun Goel

    August 18, 2009 at 2:55 pm

  13. Interesting topic … let me add some corruption to it. What if the son, seeing an ailing dad, seeks doc's intervention to kill him for the lure of inherited property? so this can't be full-proof.I guess the best way will be for the patient and the doc to sit one-on-one. Just like we have confessions in church, so that the exact decision can be taken. And this can be the best way to decide on death.Decide on death? are we sane anyway? … 'Icchcha-mrityu' … only the great Vishma Pitamah had it … :)P.S: I will go and read Tarun's post now!

    IdleMind

    August 18, 2009 at 4:18 pm

  14. @ idle.. if the father is in such a condition, where he cant voice his opinion, obviously there is nothing more worse to happen.. whatever may be the motive behind the son's decision to kill his father,, its obvious the father will not be back to normal position,, so its better that the father dies..We are talking about a stage, where it is certain that he is gonna die, even if he is able to live longer the living part is far worse

    Uncommon Sense

    August 18, 2009 at 4:33 pm

  15. @idle : the ailing shud have dis right not someone else …not even one's son or daughter …i pity vishwa pitamah who inspite of havng icchha mrityu chose to lie on a bed of arrows and we had to bore ourselves with endless episodes of mahabharata 😛

    vicious

    August 18, 2009 at 4:35 pm

  16. "it as a taboo and Of all the taboo"****sorry pahele me actress TABBOO samja tha :P, ab wo bhi old hai..lekin dikhti nahi ;)aur mujhe ye sabse achhi line lagi is pure post ki.. (The fucking people who talk about being independent doesn't realise until they are old what fucking independence means..) kisi per boj ban jaata hai aadmi,jab budha hota hai,haath-pair to achhe se chalte nahi,lekin karna fir bhi bahot ku6 hota hai,yaadein dimaag ko khaa jaati hai akele akele -aur haste huse hontho se dil hi dil me rota hai!DARNA.. ZARUURI HAI..

    BheJJa FrYY..! ;)

    August 18, 2009 at 4:44 pm

  17. @vici though i dont remember properly those episodes of mahabharat,, but he must be giving some important dialogues while he was on his bed of arrows.. wise man's last words@ bhejafry lol,, and u r right the feel of being bhoj on someone is a big bhoj in itself..

    Uncommon Sense

    August 18, 2009 at 4:58 pm

  18. @ Uncommon Sense – agreed, but the certainty of death has to be assured, no foul play there. Not even an iota of life should be left to consume … ek boond zindagi ka bhi nahin chhodna chahiye!@ vicious – i guess the pitamah was fine … at least he didn't have unnecessary bed sore issues! hehehe

    IdleMind

    August 18, 2009 at 7:21 pm

  19. SRK may be afriad of oldage.

  20. @ hobocertainly thts the only reason he smokes this much

    Uncommon Sense

    August 18, 2009 at 7:43 pm

  21. Quite a difficult issue here. Now, if the person is of sane mindset and is suffering and he/she wishes to end it, then I think its okay.But how to determine if the person is of sane mind to take such a big decision.About the SRK issue. I think its a bit of everything. It's racial/religious profiling, hurt pride, promotion of film(may be).

    abhishek

    August 19, 2009 at 1:40 am

  22. @US: yes he gave lot of gyaan lying there to his visitors !!@idle : right yaar ..wat an advantage !!

    vicious

    August 19, 2009 at 3:31 am

  23. Nice Post maya.i have similar thoughts about oldage.In class 1 or 2 i read in my hindi book that 'Budhapa Jiban ka Abhishap hai'Now i realise it.It truly is bane of life..

    Pranab

    August 19, 2009 at 9:50 pm

  24. Extreme right-wing ideologist is it? Well I've seen my old folks suffer in old age. It's not easy. Aging requires grace and humility. That unfortunately is not somethin that's very common. Euthanesia a very complitacted issue. I can't really pit myself on this side or that side. But I do feel your feelings are a bit too extreme and maybe you need to temper them down. It's easy for you to say that you'll pull the plug of your grandparents or even your own folks. But what abt siblings, or spouse, or maybe even your own children. Human emotions are not objective. And sometimes.. it is better to listen to the heart over the head… if nothing else but to sleep better at night.

    AJai

    August 20, 2009 at 2:22 am

  25. Chill out dude, by the time we are in our 80s or so science would have found the way to prolong life in a healthier, safer way.About sick people on bed, their opinion should be taken, if it's still possible, otherwise, the family members can get together and decide.Depends from situation to situation and the level of illness.Sometimes people do make miraculous recoveries.Toodles!N

    Nothingman

    August 20, 2009 at 5:11 am

  26. The train journey made me think and here I am , just because he is not a good actor[persoal globalified feelings :D] doesn't mean he==srk is a bad human being, so i take my words back, comment deleted.@maya—lolzzzzzz, look who is talking, the oe who is still i shitpants is giving advice 😛

    Tarun Goel

    August 20, 2009 at 9:12 am

  27. @Tarun!! Sahi kaha bhidu!

    Chhaya

    August 20, 2009 at 2:00 pm

  28. Its hard to drop dead just because somebody else thinks that you are too old and suffering and should be dead. But a very interesting and thought provoking post as always.

    L. Venkata Subramaniam

    August 21, 2009 at 2:24 pm

  29. Life or death is not ours to control. Who lives and who dies is decided by an unknown force. We think he died of an accident, we think she died of heart-break, we think they died of a public massacre, but is it really that way? All humans and other objects are mere instruments that either provide life or spell death.A person does not always have to die of old age or suffering. I might wish to die because I feel I have accomplished everything there is to accomplish and its time to rest peacefully. Age has got nothing to do with death. People suffering from terminal illness live a life that would put the most healthiest to shame. Try and read the life story of Randy Pausch and probably you would find life to be more serene, and stop worrying about the impending doom called "death".The way you have vented out suggests you have seen suffering so much that life has lost its meaning. For now, I would let it be but sometime later you might wish to rethink.-Vittal.

    Vittaldas Prabhu

    August 22, 2009 at 5:12 pm

  30. U r saying that what the use to prolong the suffering of old as it only adds to their suffering….it's very easy to say to end the suffering of your near and dear ones but practically u don't want them to go and it's very difficult….it's the attachment that is the root cause of all the problems….once attachment is gone then there will be no suffering for u to end up the suffering of the older ones……

    Nishit

    August 25, 2009 at 1:33 am

  31. @ pranab ya i remember that chapter we had that too..@ajai . i m not talking about siblings who r young,, i m just talking about old ppl who have to die anyway..and there is no chance of recovery@Nothingman.. i dont belive tht medical science is going in the right direction,, they are just inventing new diseases..rather than curing anything@ tarun.. ppl who shit in pants know what its like to shit in pants.. train journey always makes one think..@ Lsubra thanks for dropping by@ vitthal.. i havent suffered a bit or havent seen anyone suffering.. I m not specially talking abt death i m talking abt death due to old age..@ nishit.. we cant put others in suffering just because we are attached to them.. we need to do whats sensible@ @

    Uncommon Sense

    August 25, 2009 at 5:26 pm

  32. Thank God! And I wish you wouldn't see suffering in your life moving forward.Just my two cents: My mother is 71 years old, and she is as lively as one can get (touch wood!). People envy her for being so active, and I feel she is living her life to her heart's content. When one has accomplished something in life that satisfies their soul death does not seem to rattle them. And, when they leave earth to heavenly abode all of them would cheer for the life that was lived than the death that came by. I wish her a contended life, that's all.But yes, suffering and old age is gruesome. Something probably even I wouldn't to live through.-Vittal.

    Vittaldas Prabhu

    August 25, 2009 at 11:28 pm

  33. I always wonder what should a person has to do when he grews old. Why can't he work as he use to do in the past, is grewing old is sin. Well it is upto god decide when to die a person, if time comes a sneeze of person can kill a person. I know a old man who is just finished 60 died in sleep and I thought that he was very fortunate to die peacefully, only few people will get chance to die in such a manner.. You are right society has no answer for Old people and how they should live in their old life..

    Its my life

    September 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm


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