A day in the life of India

My experiments with Life

Dadi is dead and life moves on..

with 9 comments

I reached back at baroda today morning, started my pc (i get a strange feeling after being back on my own pc,) it has been exactly 1 month since i m away i left baroda on last 20th, early today completed the backlog of blogs to be read and commented on a few..
The news is that dadi(grand mother) is dead for good, and this post will round up the incident which marks the end of a generation in our family, the next in line being my parents..
Before

After reaching there we shifted dadi to hospital, she was 85 and had reached her end stage. she stopped drinking and eating and in the hospital she was fed thru nose. After a week or so the doctor told to take her back home as recovery is not possible. She stayed at home for a week, lot of relatives and neighbours paid visits. My father kept them entertained by giving a detailed report of her condition (my father talks a lot and doesn’t mind repeating the same thing to every visitor, btw he is also a great story teller, i have listened to his crap a thousand times over and to speak the truth i never get tired). She lay on bed all day making sounds of pain, shitting and peeing. My mother took over the job of cleaning and feeding her. I hardly paid any visit to her and we were all living normally. When someone gets old they had to be cared for as they were a baby, thats how life rounds up everything, life moves on in cycles. The fun part was that one of cousin’s friend had came from dubai with stocks of johnnie black (my favourite, we indians have a special corner in our heart for mr johnnie aint we?) russian vodkas and J & B (i drank this for the first time and its good).
On the Moment

It was around 9:30 in the morning of 2nd september, and it was Onam the biggest festival of kerala. Its an harvesting festival. And all malayalees were getting ready for what they are best known for “binge drinking”. My cousins went to buy liquor. In kerala you would find lines longer than ration shops at every liquor outlet at all time of the day and on onam its fucking long and everyone went early to stand in those endless lines. The liquor is sold through the state owned beverages corporation and its a well known fact that 75% of state revenue of kerala comes through liquor sales, guess the state of bankruptcy in which kerala would be if not for the drunkards.
It was now 10 am and dadi was having trouble in breathing, 2 women (relatives) were around her and they started shouting, and i reached there to see dadi taking her last breath. She rolled her eyes upward and was trying hard to take the last breath her face looked as if someone is suffocating her, and she died and we 3 were the witness. it has been my first experience of watching someone die. Women started crying, soon everyone was called, neighbours reached and the news spread like fire. Faraway relatives were informed by calling, and people started pouring in. A doctor was called for and he declared her dead. I thought that my father would cry, but he didn’t i guess he was more tensed about the procedure to cremate dadi, as this was his first experience and he had to handle everything in a unknown place where he had just spent his childhood and he knew nothing about what to be done next. People came and they arranged everything, ambulance was called to transport the body to the crematorium. There are a lot of system in this, and a lot of tradition goes into how the body is kept, to changing clothes and covering with the kafan (by the way they use red coloured kafan in kerala, and most of the relatives bring their own kafan and all those kafan were put on her). When dadi was being shifted from her bed to the stretcher shit and pee flowed down her legs, she shitted when taking her last breath, or in my words she shitted to death. After that at crematorium we waited for hours till the body got completely burned after that some rituals of that carrying matkis, and all that were followed it was a lot different from what we do here.. i had to do this stuff too, though i don’t believe in these stuff and wouldn’t have done it but i didn’t intended to create a scene in such a situation; so obviously i agreed.
As it was Onam a holiday for everyone a lot of people came, and they said its a good day to die as everyone could be reached and could arrive quickly being a holiday, after 4 pm everything was over and we reached home and sat talking, my father gave a detailed description of the procedure of cremation. Other people got on with their onam celebration and drinking.
———— friends called had to go out, after a long time drank in the afternoon. R1 forced me to join him for navratri roamed around till 1pm, i think a juicy navratri post is in the making..the above part of the post was written yesterday and below part is being written today—-
After
After the cremation, everyone got back to normal, there wasn’t much grief as everyone knew already that dadi wouldn’t be living too long, everyone behaved as if nothing happened and we all sat talking late into the night.. women were afraid and we made them more fearful by telling ghost stories, we joked about dadi’s ghost and a few more ghost stories were told.. pretty cool family huh.. For the next 13 days every morning we had to take dip in the river, i thought it would be boring but started enjoying it, it was a good exercise waking to the river early morning and taking dip. i have a habit of masturbating daily while bathing and since we have been bathing in the river and there was no chance of spanking there so semen was getting collecting in my balls, when one’s ghittas are full the functioning of the mind gets effected, one feels heavy. From 5th day onwards i started showing my true colors, i stopped following the rituals i thought there might be good amount of objection but since everyone knew my nature the resistance was pretty low and they allowed me to opt out.
Till 13th day it was only vegetarian and home made food, and drinking was also prohibited; so i used to drink alone in bar, drinking alone is something that i did for first time. Nobody objected to my drinking and eating out obviously because they know i m a fucking freak and whatever they say will be countered by some out of the blue logic. After 13th day there was feast with all non-veg and drinking, the people who came all agreed with how lucky dadi is for not having to suffer for too long and how lucky we were for not having to bear with her, they cited examples of people who had been on death bed for years living thru the troubles themselves and being a bhoja for the family, a few days after that was spent at fishing; it was fun fishing sitting on the river bank sipping on to your beer with legs in water and small fishes nibbling on the dead skin of ur feet.
Gd bye. Gd luck.
P.S. I know i have been talking about the same thing in last 3 posts, but this is for records purpose, Navratri is here, and i guess our bheja fry is having a good time, might come up with a navratri post in the coming week.

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Written by maya

September 20, 2009 at 11:36 am

9 Responses

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  1. Life a journey always.

  2. My condolences on the passing away of your Dadi. May she rest in peace.Enjoyed reading the entire course of events that was before and after. Good that you remained silent in adapting to rituals. It is good to adapt sometimes, and best to not follow at other times.Btw, the flow of liquor remained unabated. How I wish we can sanctify every moment of life by sprinkling a few drops of liquor on ourselves … heavenly, isn't it?

    IdleMind

    September 21, 2009 at 7:11 pm

  3. Wishing peace for the soul of the departed… i have seen more than my share of death, including watching someone very very close dying right in front of my eyes, so i do know that life moves on…. so it willPS: leave a message with ur email ID at my blog. i wont publish it. will send u the link to the pics.Love and Prayers- Chhaya

    Chhaya

    September 21, 2009 at 9:06 pm

  4. Welcome back freak!!Dadi ki mrityu par meri taraf se condolences.Ab Agle post ke intezaar me.

    abhishek

    September 22, 2009 at 9:39 am

  5. @ Hobo, ya a journey, the destination of which we often forget@ everyone.. thanks for ur comments

    Uncommon Sense

    September 22, 2009 at 12:30 pm

  6. My heart felt condolences. I know you don't give a shit though! :-)I had to live through this experience when my father breathed his last on my arms. It was a moment of absolute truth – no faking, no lies.I thoroughly enjoyed the flow of events, and I am awaiting the "juicy" story about your Navratri adventures.-Vittal.

    Vittaldas Prabhu

    September 23, 2009 at 3:00 pm

  7. may her soul rest in peace .. as always liked reading ur post

    vicious

    September 23, 2009 at 11:34 pm

  8. i'm sorry to hear about your grandma bro.

    AJai

    September 24, 2009 at 10:56 am

  9. @ vici , ajai thanks for commenting

    Uncommon Sense

    September 24, 2009 at 12:02 pm


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