A day in the life of India

My experiments with Life

Un-marriageble

with 11 comments

What the fuck is happening to me, i forgot the spelling of marriage. Recently i have been forgetting all the spellings. Generally i dont write at this time, i prefer morning to write but then i just had a shit, bath and a masturbation session (btw i jerk myself off everytime i bath), which left me with lot of thoughts.

Parents came early in the morning, and were trying hard to find faults with the house, looked hard for an hour then started making up things. anyway lets come to the main topic. Parents were talking about all gaon ki gossips and kissas. Things shifted to marriage. They were talking about this particular relative whose daughter (the hottest maal in gaon) is about to get married. My mother said, i had hinted to her mother about you, but see she didnt even respond properly. We have helped them a lot and yet she didnt show the faintest interest in the idea. She might have a feeling of puking imaging you marrying her daughter. We will have to start looking for a girl now, and i will find you the bestest, nicest girl. I smiled and said but i will marry at 30. But you will have to change. me changing? maya is unchangable. Right now you are un-marriagable, no father will give her daughter to you, and no girl will like you. Because you are very ajeeb and now you have to become normal. I feel bad when people look at you like that, as if you are some kind of alien or a mad person. You have to change the way you dress, the way you walk, you have to change completely, you have to talk with people, and get over with your introverted ways, you dont even have a job, god knows what you do. When people ask what does your son do, i dont have an answer.
I nodded.

I guess these things were enuf for a post, and i take it as an opportunity share a few things about me that makes me un-marriagable. So to describe me physically i have average looks, a pot belly, i have never checked my weight so i dont know how much it is but i m not obese, brown skin, with pimple ke daags of ajeeb kind which looks like dirt patches. Weak body (never exercised, always sitting at home, only work typing, masturbating and a walk of around 60 meters to and fro from krishna’s place.) Sluggish lazy posture, some times a hunch, inactive in movements, always carry the look as if i have just woken up.

Just as i was typing sister called, she is 24 now and parents are not worried about her marriage. They say she will find it anyway, the problem here is you. well they are right, my sis is just perfect, nice, intelligent and sexy.

Yesterday R1’s brother got surprised by seeing me, he said “you are looking more human today”, the reason was he had a glimpse of me shaved (not my dick). Actually i had a hair cut yesterday. Most of the time i dont even notice that its time for a cut, i realised it when one guy at krishna’s place told me about it. Some times the beard grows so much that it becomes curly, to cut things short i dont care how i look, neither do i care for what others think. I m just  hmmm… i dont know what the fuck i m , certainly not a normal guy.

The way i dress is like some labourer, a shirt, t-shirt (sometimes) formal pants, neither of them matching my size, i fucking ordered them on internet and i dont know my size, half of them are loose and half of them tight, i even order my underwears online. I havent bought a single thing offline in years. The last time i did inshirt was in school, and that was also the last time i wore shoes. I wear this tulsi ka beads, rudraksh, lotus seeds malas, as if i m some fucking baba, i like babas, i wanted to be one, but then i dont belive in god but still i want to be a baba some day roamin in kumbh mela, may be naked. I find the characters of baba very attractive.

I am also a chutiya introvert and antisocial guy, i dont like talking to new people. I only keep contacts with people whom i already know, never interested in making new friends, new people. Thou i like listening to people, but hate it when they ask me something. I speak very less. I become uncomfortable with people who know me thoda bahut, i m only comfortable with people whom i dont know completely or who know me completely. When i go to village, i try to avoid relatives as much as possible. Some time i fucking hide or pretend as if i have not seen them. I get pissed off when all of them fucking ask the same thing.

And wont be even bathing if not for the incentive of masturbation, there was a time when i didnt bath for weeks, i was fucking legendary. My friends still talk of my earlier days, when i was so ajeeb that u people wont even believe it. And the last and the most important thing that makes me un-marriageable is my work. Most people dont know that i m a scammer, and thats what i do for living. Scamming people over the internet. I have my justifications for that, and more than half the money i make from this is given to the needy people, and a small portion to charities, i dont belive much in those fucking NGO’s also i provide employement to some 10 guys who work remotely with me, and i do give them regular payment. And i scam only to the extent of my needs, thou i cud have made much more. About that we will talk at some other time.. So i dont have a job, and i cant say what i actually do for a living, i never wanted a job, i m unemployable too. I dont want a job because i like to shave when i want, and like to wear what i like wearing.

Why doesnt bad dressing become fashionable?

Fucking big post of a looser (thou i like being a looser), So this is a brief analysis why i m unfit for this world, and so unfit for marriage. As my friends would often question me with surprised look “maya r u really going to marry?” ofcourse i will would come my reply. My views on marriage at some time later. R1 was recently trying to hook me with his gf’s best friend. I saw that girl on navratri, so fucking awesome man, she is so beautiful. It cud have worked with R1 bandhing all tareef k pul about me, and he is a fucking marketing guy, who cud sell any idea. But i said, no i m not interested. I m fucking happy and peaceful, i dont want any beauty to fuck with my peace of mind. I m already happy and i dont expect more happiness.. I will finally give away my peaceful existence for marriage, till then i better be alone, i want to enjoy the way i want.

So what you people think, will i ever get married?.

its good for you guys if i get married, u will get a suhag raat wala post. free free free

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Written by maya

December 16, 2009 at 7:51 pm

Posted in humor, personal diary

11 Responses

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  1. You are a fucking interesting character, man!! I like your idea of "loser by choice". Commendable! About marriage, I don't think it's necessary… Wonder why do you intend to at 30.

    Darshan Chande

    December 16, 2009 at 9:02 pm

  2. U are absolutely right when it comes to u being angry when people ask u something. after all, u give SOOOOOOOOOOOO many details without asking, so only dumb ppl will ask 😛

    Chhaya

    December 16, 2009 at 9:22 pm

  3. @darshan i like my character too, marriage views will be in a separate post. @chhaya as i had mentioned many a times, i dont speak much, so most ppl generally dont know abt me.. but i like writing, its easier and comfortable than speaking

    Uncommon Sense

    December 16, 2009 at 11:15 pm

  4. well u did not seem to soooo weird in the picnic wala pic of urs dat u posted ..may b coz of minimal clothes 😛

    vicious

    December 16, 2009 at 11:36 pm

  5. saale madarchod… teri suhag raat wala post nahi chaiye….par saala koi kuch bhi bole, koi saala koi bhi award jeete, mujhe tera blog padh ke jo maza aata hai wo koi blog padh ke nahi aata…aur agar kabhi mujhe scam kiya to teri maa chod dunga… baki duniya ko scam karna hai kar…tere ko v for vendetta ka graphic novel bhejne wala tha par saale uska size hi itna bada hai ki email me attach hi nahi ho raha…

    abhishek

    December 17, 2009 at 1:24 am

  6. @vici oh tht were not proper pics, and i guess tht time i ws shaved and all@abhi thnx abhi, tu bhi ek bahut bada chutiya hai isliye tujhe mera blog pasand aata hai. arre bhejna woh graphic novel, 4shared.com pe upload karke link bhej…

    Uncommon Sense

    December 17, 2009 at 8:58 am

  7. OK. All right. I see. Oh wow! These were some of the few phrases that occurred to me when I read this post. Take care, and become marriageable. It's bliss.

    Vittaldas Prabhu

    December 17, 2009 at 2:34 pm

  8. aha… hmmm…okay!! you scam..*gulpMaverick you are!!

    Sorcerer

    December 17, 2009 at 5:51 pm

  9. vitall, sorcerer, thanks for liking, i will become marriageable when its time..

    Uncommon Sense

    December 17, 2009 at 7:46 pm

  10. You'll need to do bigger scams if you get married. Suhaag raat post would be interesting.And download V for Vendetta from torrentz yaar. The movie was timepass but i've heard good things about the graphic novel.Otherwise, you might think you are weird, but there are always weirder people in the world. There are outcasts and then there are outcasts.Enjoy life man.N

    Nothingman

    December 18, 2009 at 2:43 am

  11. Don't commit so fast on marriage … it's another name for a non-business contract. I had this freaking discussion with my HR Prof and he got so pissed with my argument that he suggested I skipped that lecture.If you are good in making deals, well you are close. You already scam … then go for a marriage. Otherwise, keep being the way you are … we already know a lot abt you. Guess others know you too!

    IdleMind

    December 18, 2009 at 1:51 pm


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