A few months ago a sequence of event started with the loosing of my mobile. Thou it might seem like an insignificant event, but some how it has led to where i m now, literally in a small corner. As it happens the literal translation of the name of our village means “a small corner”. That is kind of a joke that life has played. Back in gujarat i was a happy guy, with friends, booze and adventure. And now i have been cornered in this uneventful place. Before the loss of the mobile i was stable, til then i didnt make up my mind to move to my village but some how the loss of mobile unbalanced my whole life. That event disturbed the whole sequence, when i realized that the number that i thought to be permanent was just temporary which lead to further realization that my existence there itself is temporary because i will have to move back eventually, i needed a permanent address and i realised the earlier i move its better for me, i will get more time to get used to a new place and build the base.I couldnt manage without a sense of permanancy, i felt every thing i will be doing back there will be temporary.
After reaching here everyone said you will get the internet connection in a day or two, thats what the normal time it takes, but i always knew something unusual will happen in my case, and i was right, it took 1 and a half month, but at the end the connection has been satisfactory. As i always say the things that makes you wait ends up much better than the things that you get in an instance, and it has been always like this with me. Every fucking thing that happens normally to other people, in my case it always takes a different route.
My whole life has been kind of inverted, i always took the other way, i wont credit the unusual decisions to myself but those decisions happened automatically. I just couldnt take the normal path. When everyone had a straight path my path was all ulta pulta. When people did this i did that, as a person i have been a total mismatch in every aspect of my life.
And eventually when everyone migrates to city, i had to migrate to a village. This itself sums up the inverted path the life has taken. From here where it will go, i have no idea, i hope it doesnt go towards a jungle and i become a sanyasi.
If you ask me how life is here i would term it as pretty boring, i was not able to gel with people here, there certainly are some people who could be befriended but owing to my introverted nature i have been unable to make some good friends, i generally take a lot of time to open up. Atleast a six months of constant contact is needed before i can actually start behaving like a normal person. As you can see i m not too proud of my introverted ways, and have always considered it as path ka roada in the way of having fun, obviously one cant have fun alone.
I have been lonely here, till recently i had to go to town for accessing internet so that was a time pass, i liked the bus journey, i would go for a beer then with light nasha do my work. Thou it drained me financially but it was kind of time pass. In the past 2 months i have been drinking alone at bar, in noon. In bar one can drink alone because there are lots of tight people and watching them is a good time pass, so didnt feel too lonely, but some company would have helped, often watching other guys drinking in a group would remind me of my days back there. But that was supposed to be temporary and i kind of always knew, so it didnt effect a bit when i came here, moreover since i have been coming here frequently, the change was smooth as this was not exactly a new place for me.
Business has been no good, for the first time i m already in huge debt, within a period of 2 months i piled on around 2 lacks of debt, the new venture is bleeding me through all the holes. But i consider it as a good sign, bad needs to happens for good. Its something that i totally believe in. Every time when things go wrong, we try to think differently to find a solution, and that exactly when inventions are made, as they say necessity is the mother of all inventions.
My primary concern here is about mixing with the people, though i have spent a good amount of time alone just sitting in a room without meeting or talking to any one and it has taught me a lot but i think its kinda waste of time, one shouldnt waste life like that, there are lot of things to experience and basically we are supposed to have fun.
The thing that i noticed is that my writing style has changed, it has kind of become boring. I dont know but something has happened, i dont get uncommon thoughts these day, thoughts are just plain and simple. Seems like something is missing, like everything has got diluted or something..
Hoping to have interesting times ahead.
P.S. It has to be long because this is going to be a reference in future about how i felt about this change. Also things are not going to be as usual from this point, i just feel that way.. something has really changed in me..