A day in the life of India

My experiments with Life

Posts Tagged ‘wife

Onam bumper

with 3 comments

Though i m aware that i m making a mistake by not regularly blogging, i have been unable to find time to write, i always had this theory , you cant blog if your life is interesting enough, since my last blog i haven’t found time to write, i have been busy living life and didn’t have even a few minutes to spare. The title is irrelevant and i didnt win any onam bumper lottery i m just as gareeb as i was, so dont build any expectations on that front.  

I will do a recap of what happened all these days some time later, today i will just tell you about onam, making records of festivals is important, plus there is something funny that happened.

This was my first onam after marriage so i was supposed to give compulsory gifts to my inlaws, as it happened i was going through total gareebi, still i managed to order a few stuffs online.  I had to sell all  the shares i had lying around in my demat account, the account had got blocked due to non usage , got it activated when i and wife had gone to kochi for a brief honeymoon trip, that story later.

The funny thing is that the order that i placed has still not arrived, yeh don’t shop with madarchods at 100bestbuy.com they are no 1 haramis. So my mother lent me some money to buy them gifts, so that problem got solved, but i still send gaali wala mails daily to these people, i tell you it makes no difference to them, still thats my duty.

After a long time there is a power cut here thus some free time to blog, life has been good,  have been lucky to have a very understanding and smart wife, then i have been always lucky with people, never found it hard to find the right kind of people.

So the day before onam i and wife went to her house, gave them the gifts, had good food and returned, when i returned got a call from police station, my summons had arrived for the last drinking and driving case, they fined me 2500. Day after tomorrow is the date for paying the fine. Sold my old mobile to arrange funds for this. Cousin K had arrived from Kuwait so had been drinking since a few days. I, my wife, and his wife had gone to Calicut to receive him.  After returning from wife’s house we drank, i, uni, D, cousin K, also think B and M were there; see i have already begun to forget. There was program for onam (dancing, songs, skits and stuff by villagers), my family was already there and i was supposed to join them after my drinking gets over, So we finished drinking and went there and we were all standing at the back watching program. Wife was giving glances to check if i was too high, but no i was normal, not stoned enuf, so i and UNI decided we need to get more high and decided to do some weed.  Frankly speaking i m a bit afraid to smoke weed over alcohol, it becomes too heavy. But still as we were about to leave, the most fucking embrassing thing happened, i fell from the bike in front of everyone, i just slipped. No sir, i was not drunk enuf to fall i just fell without being drunk, but everyone would assume i fell because i was drunk.  My wife had an eye on me so as soon as i fell she ran towards me (which i wasn’t aware of) i pulled the bike and left the scene.

We reached the gully and started making the joint, we were talking about the embrassing situation that just happened, UNI was saying how the fuck did you fall, of all the places we drove in full nasha you have to fall here only. Yes he got a point, i had experience driving even when i could barely stand on my legs, yet have not fallen, but this had to happen. So D calls and gives the phone to my wife, she asks if i was ok, i said i just slipped, and that was not due to drinking, it was just a normal fall. She said ok, i was afraid of my wife, yes yours truely is fucking scared of his wife.

I knew this would become a charcha of choice for villages for the week, and this story would be remembered yearly on every onam, So we smoked the weed and became full rockets, reached back to the venue,  i went to my wife and told i was ok. Stayed for a half an hour then my family left, i also left with them. No new story were created by anyone that day, its customary for someone to create story on these days, else the villagers wont have anything to talk about next day, and since mine was the only story it got maximum coverage in the village. And like the game of Chinese whispers it had taken new angle by next day, the next day the story was that, i had fallen then my wife came running and lifted me up, and was petting me. And the day after, the story was that i had fallen then my wife came running, called a rikshaw and took me to hospital. Yeh till next onam they story would be some thing else, like my wife slapped me in front of everyone as i fell after drinking.

As i said my wife is very understanding so she made no issues that day, nor the next, i told her the story has taken new form and we laughed about it. And the next day on onam wife’s father and elder brother arrived, her brother is almost a nut case, he talks stupid and non stop. Her father is a madarchod, i don’t fucking like him, i hardly talk with him. Her father is gandu bhakt, doing puja and shit, roaming from temple to temple, has crazy rules and shit which makes me angry.

I did previously drink with my wife’s brother when i was at their place, inspite of his mother being khatrnak, also my wife is dangerous, she had warned me not to drink with him, but still i drank. Wife’s mother is so dangerous that she still beats this guy if she finds him drunk. I mean he is 26 years, who the fuck beats a 26 year old son. So again inspite of wife’s warning i took him to drink i UNI, B and he sat drinking in near by place, soon it started to rain, we had no fucking place to go so we broke into a near by pump house, broke the lock and sat inside,  i said no, still they did it, then i gave up, i have such lunatics as friends. Nothing much happened about it, but the owner of the place was making inquires about who did that the next morning.

Next day there was theyyam at B’s place, so we went there, also took my brother in law along with me, i didn’t drink, he drank, he got drunk. I watched them drinking, so after drinking this guy refuses to come home, he is afraid that his sister will scold him, so i stand with him talking, he was talking annoying shit which made me feel like puking for the whole week, i m still feeling like puking from his talk.  They were supposed to go back the next day but there was a harthal imposed by CPM.  He again went with cousin K in the evening and drank i stayed at home.

The next day harthal was lifted and they left early in the morning, that day there was function at B’s house, his wife was pregnant and they were taking her to her maika so a function about it, so i went there helped them in serving food and stuff, then drank. It was fun, to drink with people that i have not drunk with for a long time, had chicken liver for touching, it was good.

Wife is going to stitching class these days, so got some gap to blog, i wont like to write if she is in the house, i don’t want her to read my shit, i prefer staying anonymous in my writings, it gives freedom, because writing without freedom is shit.

I will try to fill the gaps in my writing, and write down things that i could manage to remember, i assume the last post was written a long time before my marriage. There is whole lot of story missing there.

electricity has yet not come, i don’t know what to do, anyway i will close it here.  And just for records i m still very very gareeb, but very happy at the same time.

Over and out.


Written by maya

September 20, 2013 at 2:03 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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